11.06.23

i havent updated in a while because i've been having a bad time LOL. geting better now though so its all good. mostly. i need to update my wardrobe pages and my coord page! i have worn some banger fits that i havent posted yet :'3

i'm going back into education in october!! i'm actually excited even though i'm also kind of dreading it because every time i try to go back to education i have some kind of health crisis that sets me back and i always either have to drop out or fail entirely... it's demoralising, i've been out of study for so long because of that. i'm 23 this year and all i have is like 4 gcses. i've done so many courses and gotten amazing grades for the first few projects and then something ALWAYS happens that leads me to fail or have to drop out. please dear god let everything be ok this time lolol.... it'll probably help that it's online and i can do it at my own pace. that's good for my physical health i think.. i just hope my stupid brain can handle it all.

i want to start adding to my site again like i used to :'3 my brain is mush lately. maybe when i start studying my brain will wake up enough so i can finally enjoy my hobbies again

09.05.23

i just bought a bunch of stuff from ww and cc! its been so long since ive ordered from either :'] there was a lot of items i've had my eye on which i expected to be sold out before i had the money to get them. but they werent! it must be a sign from the heavens. for me to spend £400 in one day, that is. i managed to sell some of the items that don't suit my style anymore so i have the space and money for it!! i'm so so excited for it all to arrive!!! sometimes when i buy something i've wanted for a while i get a huge adrenaline rush and it makes me shake like an anxious chihuahua...

i got a black and white bonnet, baby's teddy lace sailor cutsew in black and pink (dream items awooga), and a pink usakumya, among other things i'm all super excited to get!!! i'm already thinking of coords to use everything in.

i love lolita so much! it's one of the only things that make me feel good about myself lmao. i feel like a sewer goblin most of the time. lolita takes a lot of effort for me to wear but i feel so much happiness when i wear a nice coord or even just look through my wardrobe :'3 anywey here is some of the stuff i got!

19.04.23

mama mia i have not been updating my diary on here. thats because i get extremely depressed in the winter LOL i am sort of waking up from my hibernation now though since its getting warmer :] woohoou.

i havent been doing much but lying in bed and sleeping and going bluuuhhh for the past like.. wow 5 months!!!! but heres some shit i been thinking about doing soon.

• considering learning renpy and making a silly vn. maybe a dating sim or something. cringe :3
• making a new neocities site for ocs/stories/etc,, it's equally as important to me as fashion and stuff but i kind of wanna keep my fashion stuff separate from my more personal/creative stuff for.. reasons lol.
• going back into education!!! i actually applied to open university to study english. there's so many courses id love to do but i chose what im most used to... i really really dont want to fail or drop out this time 3':
• starting to wear lolita again now it's getting warmer. i bought a pink ap jsk, super excited for it to arrive! i realised i only have like.... two jsks... i'm picky about blouses is why.
• uh... huh not much else actually. my boring pathetic life LOL.

i'd like to start using neocities more though. the code editor i always used got like... discontinued so it doesn't work anymore. the one im using now is decent enough but change is hard for me even for silly little things like this. it's been difficult to code because of that. maybe starting to learn renpy will help me feel more confident coding in general so i'll use my site more ! ^__^